Why I Deserve a Spot on the Couch: A Formal Proposal
I have prepared a 7-point argument, complete with evidence and emotional manipulation. You’re welcome.
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A Day in the Life of Florida’s Most Important Dog
6:47 AM: Human alarm goes off. 6:48 AM: I deploy the guilt stare. 6:49 AM: Breakfast negotiations begin.
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5 Dog Toys That Survived More Than a Week (Barely)
In a world of destroyed squeakers and decapitated stuffed animals, these five toys lived to tell the tale.
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I Tried a New Dog Park and Have Opinions
The water fountain was acceptable. The lack of shaded napping areas was criminal. 3 out of 5 paws.
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Security Report: The February Squirrel Offensive
ALERT LEVEL: Orange. Gerald has recruited allies. The acorn stockpile has doubled. This is not a drill.
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The Definitive Ranking of Household Sounds
From ‘treat bag rustling’ (S tier) to ‘vacuum cleaner’ (war crime). Here is my comprehensive audio review.
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My Valentine’s Day: A Love Letter to My Blanket
Roses are red, violets are blue, no one understands me like my fleece blanket do.